(Hey ladies, does this title make you nervous?)
When it comes to social commentary on first world problems, I will always choose “IPhone for 500.” The 2010 demise of my dumb phone left a very happy collegiate with an upgrade that promised me a new set of “inconveniences” I had never dreamed of. For example, “Why can’t I name my group text messages so I don’t send this selfie to the wrong people?” (Natalie- I’m looking at you).
And on that note, there is no distraction greater than a group text between the hours of nine to five. One text can be silenced in a sea of to-do lists but two or more and… game over. My phone is having a conversation with itself, and I wasn’t invited.
Some of my favorite mid-day smiles of 2014 come from the archives of this no-filter stage for our day-to-day activities. In the spirit of sharing the laughs, here’s your backstage pass to half a year’s worth of Cobblestone group text gems:
(J) Check out this link: “23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you are 23” HallelujeR! Praise the LorT!
(L) I will be unavailable this evening. As to be informative, but not to incite additional questions.
(J) I just saw a girl wearing apple bottom jeans. I never knew those were a real thing.
(K) My meteorologist icon, Jim Cantori with the weather channel is broadcasting live from the battery- I’m going to go take a pic with him. Look for a bald and kind of attractive old man.
(N) “Always be my baby” is playing at Midtown… realizing that all the freshman here were infants when this song came out…total buzz kill.
(J) Why are tater tots so hard to cook?
(K) I heard the Hunger Games mockingbird outside my window as I woke up (scary/awesome). May the odds be ever in your favor today.
(P) The voice starts tonight. May my odds be ever in Blake’s favor… or Usher’s.
(P) Do ya’ll ever wonder if other groups of girls are screen-shotting our Facebook posts and writing out our futures?
(N) Nah, we’re not that interesting. The most interesting thing I have done all week is find cases of diet coke at Target 5 for $10.
(K) P, I think you should have a water ocean birth.
(J) Bohemian Bull for dinner?
(N) Can I wear Yoga pants?
(N) Just hit a parked car- Is it Friday yet?
(J) I’m about to crawl under my desk and nap my head hurts so bad.
(N) What’s everyone up to tonight?
(L) Just stepped out of the state for a moment- BBL.
(P) Just hanging out with this sea turtle at the aquarium and he told me he can’t wait to see us at Waterball.
(J) I think he saw quite a lot of us last year #rippedpants #lemurs Maybe he knows where my slip is?
(N) We need to stop losing our delicates at parties.
(N) Everyone’s feet were so cut up and bloody.
(P) Not mine.
(L) Well I will forever have a scar that will remind me of SS2014.
(N) Same boat, my friend.
(L) Can’t wait to tell your children, “Your mom and I have matching scars from when we walked on glass when we were twentysomething and fun.”
(L) Dibs on buying your children their first pairs of J’s.
(N) I don’t even know what that is.
(L) J’s on my feet, Jordan’s… as in Michael.
(N) Yeah, yeah. White boy swag.
(K) J: first Colehans, P: first basketball shoes, L: first Jay’s, K: first white stride right sandals, N: baby Frye boots
(L) Sounds about right.
(N) Kleckley and I just bought Sonic happy hour in all pennies #pgp
(N) I just fell down an entire flight of stairs at the house. That’s going to leave a mark.
(J) That feeling of success when you open a pack of starburst and they are all pink #allIdoiswin
(N) Y’all, I’m hiding in the bathroom at work. There is a mime here and he is scaring me.
(L) Mimes are people too, Natalie.
(N) Did you know there is a 50 shades musical???
(L) There is a $5 off on Groupon today.
(K) Is it starring Rhianna? Chains and whips excite her.